It’s been a while since I blogged but I have reasons for this:
a) I ended a physically and mentally abusive relationship which had made me very ill for a long time and it’s taken a while to get my strength/brain power back so I could work out what was going on.
b) I started to get some medical help and going to some classes all of which took a LOT of energy:
- Freedom and Beyond – a group for women (and men) who have been in abusive relationships – teaches you the traits of the abuser and how to spot them and gives immeasurable emotional support – ongoing
- Chronic Pain Clinic and FM pain management work shop – ongoing
- Counselling which helped me come to terms with the end of the relationship and supported me emotionally through police, courts, non molestation orders etc and diagnosed me with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) – ended
- PTSD counselling – ongoing
c) I didn’t know what to say … I tried hard to pretend everything was ok/would be ok and it was difficult to read some of the things I’d written in my blog about how great my husband was when the truth was – he was great at times but the great times were the pretend version he needed to show sometimes to maintain the relationship with me. I stayed because the great times were the best I ever had and I thought the bad times would get less and less and disappear because my love could overcome any problems we had …..
One thing I have realised is that I need to try to keep these blog pieces to 300 words or less because people with ME don’t have the capacity to read my brain fogged ramblings!