Good Start

Must give summer a pat on the back today.

We are officially in Spring however Summer blew Spring out in my garden today. I sat outside for an hour and read Forgotten by Susan Lewis (its not an amazing book and i cant see where its going yet, or indeed much point to it, but its early days). The sun was really warm, no breeze, loads of daffs and primroses along the river bank, ducks swimming in pairs on the river, distinct lack of flowers in my garden but it was extremely uplifing to be out there today. I can still feel the heat from the sun on my face and im hoping beyond hope that it will stop me looking so pastey and ill. (How vain am i … i just stopped writing to have a quick peek in the mirror and think there is a slight variation from peeky to just plain pale (so much more attactive than the whitey blue i was before.)

I cant mow the lawn so im not sure how best to persuade Jake to do it. It is one of his very few jobs and i did start asking on Monday but nothing has happened as yet. It is one job i definitely cant do even in stages. I finished my bedroom at 7.30 this morning with a very thorough hoovering behind and under everything and im really proud that i havent knocked myself out to do it but its still ended up clean. It took me 3 days.

Had what could have been a very stressful conversation with Orange this morning because Jons phone isnt working and managed to stay sweetness and light for a whole two hours and 3 calls. Shattered afterwards which is why i ended up in the garden reading.

Should have been going on Kates hen night tomorrow and feeling slightly peeved that i cant go. Its not just ME thats stopping me, there is also a money issue so im not being as hard on myself as i might be about it.

I put a status up on facebook last night promoting ME/CFS and FM awareness day on May the 12th. I think it originated in the states but i cant see any harm in promoting it over here. It was also a way of letting my friends on facebook know that i have ME/CFS but i felt really self conscious about putting it up. Only had one comment from a school friend who ive only recently had contact with again – he sent a supportive text but not even a like from anyone else. I havent worked out why yet. Have i embarrassed everyone? Was it too much information? Should i keep facebook light and frivilous? Is it that they dont believe im ill?