Everyone needs time on their own. Somewhere where they can go to recharge their batteries, think over problems or just to have a bit of peace of quiet.
It is a recorded fact that men who have a shed, a garage, a study or a den to disappear into cope much better in relationships. It is a place to go where they have no responsibility – away from women, children and the rest of the world. They have had this luxury – no questions asked – for decades!
Hundreds of years ago everyone was accorded this ‘space’ as part of his or her culture. Menstruation, the passing into puberty, before marriage and after bereavement were times for isolation and introspection. Today, even psychologists recognize that everyone, man, woman or child needs a space where they can shut the door on the outside world from time to time.
Your sanctuary space should be as clear as possible so as not to distract you. Keep décor simple but if you would like something more womb like then perhaps hang a tent like structure from the ceiling. Add a sculpture or piece of art that inspires you or some driftwood or flowers maybe. Whatever you feel would be nice. Try to keep electrical items out of your sanctuary – TVs or phones just distract you. If you just cannot relax in your own home why not try a retreat. There are some wonderful places out there that may or may not be attached to religious institutions.
Try to give yourself time to meditate – to listen to yourself and your needs. Just be! Ask questions and listen for the answers. They may not come straight away – but they will!! Wherever you end up making your sanctuary use it when you need to get away and your friends and family will appreciate the person you are when you come out again!
© Sarah Marsden 2002