Ive had two birthday parties (spoilt i know!) and a weeks holiday (well it was my birthday week) all in the last 12 days and I’m surprisingly well …. i won’t even say surprisingly well considering …….. just surprisingly well 🙂
I am kinda (in a good way) shocked (because it was only a couple of months ago that i felt so ill if i just got out of bed and walked down stairs) at how well my body has coped with it all but i think it is mostly that i had a LOT of help and support from my gorgeous man and the wonderful girl friends i went away with – they took all the stress out of it for me and i REALLY don’t know what I’ve ever done to deserve so much love and care and thoughtfulness and its not possible to express how grateful i am …. there have been people in my past who havent been so thoughtful and sweet to me since I’ve been ill and I’m still a bit surprised when, instead of nothing, i get love.
Esty, even though he had a chest infection and wasn’t feeling at all well, drove me to Cheltenham (and a second lovely little party) where we were leaving for Ibiza from the following day and then drove all the way back up there to bring me home after my holiday. The girls – Jay who ive known for 13 years and fell in love with when we both lived in Cornwall, Jays sister Lou who has the most chilled way of just ‘being’ and is SOO easy to be with (luckily as we shared a bed all week) and Jays daughter Ella who is 15, slim with masses of long blonde hair, utterly stunning and went brown in 3 seconds (not my first choice of beach holiday mate obviously lol) and has a (sometimes scarily) unerring knack of being able to see exactly how it is and tell you (especially scary if you’ve just messed up in some way) – found the villa, booked the plane tickets, sorted out luggage allowances, arranged hire car and told me they were doing all the driving and basically made sure that i didn’t have to worry (or more importantly get stressed) about a thing – all i had to do was find the money.
So, I sold my quad bike (i loved my quad!). I haven’t ridden it for 18 months, apart from around the field next to my house and it was worth the payback afterwards – the sense of freedom it gave me for 10 minutes was amazing, because i just did not have the strength or energy until very recently. After i took it for its last spin (or 5) round the field to say goodbye i was exhausted an hour afterwards (once the adrenalin had gone). It went to a very good home and i think it will be even better loved than it was with me.
The first two days there i was shattered, glands were up and i started to feel very slightly achy but i stayed in the Villa during the day and just read, rested and pottered so when we went out in the evening i was fine. Everything was so chilled, there was nothing that was stressful at all. The girls were all so easy to get along with – i can happily say that it was the most chilled holiday I’ve ever had! I loved almost every second of it!! The only real problem i had was my temperature control – its was haywire again. Once i got hot i just couldn’t cool down, even cold showers, fans on full blast, staying in the shade etc didn’t help – i sweated (glowed?) and sweated and if i cooled down i did have a bit of a problem with getting warm again (that only happened one night coz it was really hot most of the time). I really don’t know what the answer is to that problem – i just didn’t go to the beach and when we were out made sure i stayed in the shade as much as i possibly could. I also had a couple of days with brain fog but as no one was pressing me for instant answers i don’t think anyone noticed. I slept fine – one day i slept most of the day and night but the rest of the time (still using Dosulepin) i had very restful sleep. Alcohol seemed to have a much greater affect on me than when im at home – no idea why that was but i stuck to having one drink (Mojitos yay! And i say one but there was certainly more than one shot in them) or water most of the time.
Now I’m home I’ve tried to take it easy and as i was on my own this afternoon i was supposed to be catching up with a bit of work that i got behind on before i went away BUT now ive stopped I’m shattered and my glands are massive (giving me a bit of ear ache they are so big) so i thought id just write this – its now taken 6 hours on and off which is ridiculous considering i feel so well ……. considering …….
So the holiday ….. i feel more relaxed because of it and the hangover of the previous few months stress has all gone. I feel lighter and after a good nights sleep I’m going to be back to 85 – 90% which is amazing since I’ve done so much in the past 2 weeks 🙂