I slept quite well last night for the first time in about a week but I cant concentrate on anything today. Have got my laptop in bed but ive spent 4 hours looking at an email and staring at a spreadsheet i was supposed to be updating. Have just taken some very good advice from Jon via a phone call on Skype ……. ‘dont do it today’. This is obviously paraphrased because there is no way my brain can hold any info today but the gist was definitely dont do it so ive stuck it in drafts.
Jake away tonight so have managed to make my own tea. Took me an hour to plan it from my bed but i figured that if i grilled some salmon by the time it was cooked id have a salad made and could be off my feet in about 8 minutes – managed to get the energy for that but am concerned that im still using adrenaline to get by until i see Michelle (my Occupational Therapist) on the 30th of March! Bit annoyed because i left my flask upstairs and didnt have the energy to go back up 2 flights of stairs to get it so necessity being the mother of invention i took the kettle and 2 teabags up with me and refilled it upstairs. Feeling embarrassed that im so pathetic today and glad that no one is here to see it.
Just realised that if Jon had been here i wouldnt have touched the garden because i wouldnt have considered it ok to feel like this while he was around. Havent worked out if this is a good thing or a bad thing yet.